My weakness

I have a weakness and I'm embarrassed to talk about it, but I can't help myself. So there's a guy I know and talk to and every time he sends me a message on facebook or yahoo I get this big grin on my face. He's out of my league( not like that) but for reasons I'd rather not admit I shouldn't even have contact with him but it kind of makes things a little more exciting. We met what seems like forever ago. It was back when Myspace was still cool. So that has been some time because facebook took over. I came over late at night and he played his guitar for me. It was pretty exciting. Then some other events took place that I would prefer not to discuss at this time and I was hooked.  He's kind of like a drug. I mean I can go without thinking about him and I don't experience withdraw but when he says jump, my next question is 'how high'. now depending on my current situation I don't mind giving in to any requests he has from me. Usually though I do feel the need to make myself unavailable and make him work hard for what it is he wants.There are times that I want him and I can't have him so he should experience the same feelings I do. It's tough when two people work opposite schedules and have different things going on their life.

 He has nice lips, he smells good, an attractive profession, and nice hands just to name a few things i like about him.  He's not the guy I'd marry, but certainly the guy I'd love to have on the side. ssshhh... don't tell anyone.  I've been trying this thing where i've been trying to behave and stuff but this guy makes me want to be bad and I like breaking my own rules for him. Only him though. I have a special spot for him. oh yeah not to mention he's a man with many talents. I like that about a guy. You can't just do one thing in life well.

I'm actually kind of missing him at the moment, I haven't heard from him. But I guess that is to be expected with a busy life and work. Hopefully I've at least crossed his mind once but I know I'm not his one and only, his list is pretty impressive. I don't hate though. I am in need of a fix however.