Slow your roll Mister

So last night I was watching a movie with my dad and my phone rings. It was a 904 area code and the number wasn't in my phone. I answered and said 'hello' twice then hung up because there was no response. They called again and I answered and said 'hello' twice. Still no response so i hung up. I really don't appreciate when people call my phone and don't say anything. So I returned my attention back to the movie and a few minutes later my phone goes off. This time it was a text from the mystery caller. I was like " who's this?" and  they said _ _ _ _ _ .... Yo cock sucker, that's a fucking common name, did you just expect me to know who you were right off hand. So of course I have no idea who i was talking to. I was trying get him to give me some clues. Didn't ring any bells till like 20 minutes after the fact. I'm pretty seasoned. If  a guy is texting you many moons later he only wants one thing. So the 'stop' sign is already up. He doesn't know that of course because guys are slow. I wasn't overly responsive last night and I didn't respond to him at all today either. While I was work he called but because i was working I obviously wasn't able to answer(not that i would have). Then strangely oddly enough he decides to send me a picture of his penis. WHAT IN THE HELL MADE HIM THINK THAT I WANTED TO SEE THAT???? I didn't even really remember him through regular conversation was he thinking that I would mysteriously recall him by the way his penis looked? Seriously... I just don't get it. I couldn't tell you what this guy looked or smelled like or talked like. The only thing I remember about him is while he was at my house he asked to use my shower. Uuumm I don't know about you, but that's not something that happens to me on a regular basis. I was hesitant because my bathroom wasn't the cleanest at that time, but my brothers shower was atrocious and I didn't want to give the guy nightmares.  I plan to just ignore this guy going forward. Hopefully he'll catch on and stop bothering me. I'm not Interested AT ALL. He didn't really leave much of an impression then and he's certainly not leaving a good impression now.  Plus I know he only wants sex and I'm not that girl anymore. Sorry Fellows.

I think I should honestly just leave well enough alone with all these guys popping up from my past. They looking for the old me and she's gone. Plus it never goes well anyways so i'd just be wasting my time. The only thing I want to waste my time doing is watching TV. 

so while I'm speaking of guys from my past. Previously I talked about the dilemma I had with my Ex. Well I tried to talk to him and wanted to have a conversation face to face however that didn't seem to work out. He doesn't respond to my texts in a timely manner and that frustrates the hell out of me. Anyways since we're facebook friends I decided to see his page and maybe try to understand why he'd basically ignored me. Turns out he has a girlfriend. You tell me you want me... and I try to get a chance to hang out with you and get a feel for who you are now versus how I remember you and you blow me off.... THANKS ASS HOLE!  I'm not overly upset because part of me thinks that nothing has changed and I was setting myself up for disaster to think any different. but still its the principle of the situation. ya know? whatever, that's my life, I should be used to it.

I drove 185.6 miles roundtrip for a sleepover

So I finally met the "the wrestler". We've been texting for quite some time and we've always talked about meeting but the timing is always off. He lives an hour and half  away so it's not just practical for me to jump in the car and go. Well this past Thursday I did just that. It was ten o'clock and he was like come  over. I was feeling ballsy so I showered and got in my car and drove. It wasn't a bad drive, but I-4 really sucks. The speed limit starts out at 70 then gradually works it way down to 50 then back up to 70 just before getting off at his exit. I was paranoid the whole way about speeding or being pulled over but at the same token I really wanted to get where I was going. So when I got there i was super nervous. I didn't really know how to act or what to say. He's cute and much better looking in person. He was very respectful and even though he was exhausted he tried his best to stay up and entertain me. I drank an energy drink on the way over so I was full of energy. He has two dogs and they were well behaved. I got to meet with them and pet them for a little then he put them away in the other room and i didn't hear a peep from them for the rest of the night. It was nice. As we know from a previous blog I'm not a fan of dogs that run crazy and bark and scratch at the door when you lock them away.

I'm still shocked at myself for driving that far just to hang out with a guy. And if you happen to be thinking it, the answer is NO, we didn't have sex. We kissed. It was ok. He's not a bad kisser. there's certainly potential, but i'm not looking to get ahead of myself. He has big strong hands and arms and it felt so good to be in his arms kissing him. He's a total beef cake. He does have an intelligent side but at first glance you would just think he was a total meat head. His body is amazing. In the morning when I saw him in just his underware my first thought was "Oh damn!! I spent the night with that, how'd I get so lucky" I mean I'd show you, but then you just might hate me. So I didn't sleep very much when I was there. We went to bed around 5 am and by 8:30 I was wide awake. He was sleeping though. he snores and sleeps like a rock so I didn't feel concerned at all about my snoring. I normally don't like spending the night with any guy because im embarrassed about my snoring. It's loud, no lie.  But I drove an hour and half I wasn't going to drive another hour and a half back home with out resting. 

So everything about the night was perfect. The only thing missing was the simple fact that he's not my boyfriend. I can't say if he's the one. But I had to keep a certain level of distance I didn't want to find myself in a situation where I fall for a guy who doesn't feel the same. We've never talked about what he wants or what I want. I've been afraid to ask. I dont want him to think I'm looking to get married tomorrow. I dunno I'm going to approach the topic lightly if I decide to. Our future conversations might tell me everything I need to do without ever having to ask what he wants.

I love my boobs

So I've been hitting up the gym religiously since June 1st and I've lost weight. So far I'm down 31 lbs. I was stuck at 30 for a little but I'm working to get the pounds dropping off again. Anyways I've noticed that a couple of my bras are fitting me differently and it seems as though my boobs might be shrinking a little. That makes me sad. I love my boobs. Ive had them for so long and they have always been rather big. I have no idea what it is like to have to have small boobs. I'm praying that when I'm done loosing weight that I don't loose all my boobs. I'm famous for my cleavage. I really wouldn't know what to do without it.   Judge me if you want but I just can't have little boobs. I would seriously go under the knife and get plastic surgery to get my boobs back. I don't want like Pam Anderson boobs but I do want to look proportionate. A D-cup would be nice. I wouldn't go any bigger than that.  I love my boobs!  call me crazy. Boobs are a very feminine feature on a woman's body and create nice lines and curves that keep your body looking womanly and not manly. Plus I may be black but I wasn't blessed with a Beyonce booty so I make up for it with my boobs. You need at least one and you can't have none. I don't care what people say, looks are important to a certain degree and a certain level symmetry and curves makes you appealing. Nobody wants to date a refrigerator box.  Just saying.

So I know it's been awhile

So It's been some time. I've wanted to blog however I've been unmotivated. A little depressed really, I've been blogging since the end of February, so its been 7 months. Things have been rather stagnant...I kind of wish I had more exciting things to tell everyone about.  My personal life has been a rollercoaster. This past week I had to watch them put handcuffs on my brother and take him away. To think that every time I walk up stairs he's no longer going to be in his room asleep and snoring ridiculously loud or asleep on his toilet with the door wide open snoring ridiculously loud sucks. For the next however many years I'm going to have schedule times to talk to him on the phone or make appointments to see him where ever he ends up. I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about it. You never think it could happen to your family and then it does, and its earth-shattering, legit. I kid you not.

So on to another subject that isn't going to make me cry. I'm not in a crying mood right now. So I went to get a new tire on Friday morning and the guy who was changed my tires was cute and hitting on me. Inside I was blushing. I'm a man whore and I love the attention but when he mentioned that he had a kid my mind threw up all these red flags immediately. I honestly have a real metal block that doesn't even allow things to go anywhere. It's a Speed bump I put up that no man can get over. But he was cute. Now I'm quite sure he wasn't the one, but without giving him a shot how am I to know for sure. I'm beginning to think that my phobia is getting in the way. It seems like most guys these days have kids. I have to remember this isn't 5 years ago. Children are beautiful, but seriously?!?! Did everyone just forget about birth control? UGH.... my love life is doomed.