Girls who make a fool of themselves

Ladies I have two words for you: NOT CUTE. So I was just watching an older episode of 'Millionaire Matchmaker' and there was a millionairess that was a hott mess and totally living with her head in the clouds. Best quotes from Patti: "She looks like a box of crayons exploded on her face" and "Hello kitty doesn't get a hard cock."  I wanted to cringe. WHAT"S WRONG WITH THIS GIRL?? I'm not saying that at size 26 you can't get a hott guy. But let's be real if he's really that hott, what makes you so special that he's going to want to be with you and not miss size 10 over there on the other side of the room? So this millionairess, Robin, was all about Pink, Hello Kitty, her 2 dogs( Bruiser and Paris Hilton), and drinking. She was sipping wine through a straw, SERIOUSLY?!?! NOT CUTE. Oh yeah let me not forget she was all about dating someone who looked like Matthew McConaughey. Get real. Guys like him don't grow on trees. Lets just be real about that. 

Surprisingly Patti does a find a guy to bring to the mixer that looks really cute.  Well like a shallow gal with her head in the clouds, she chooses the really cute guy Luke. Luke's a plumber and really has nothing in common with Robin. But she just thought he was so Hot and didn't seem to care about any substance. She over looked some decent looking guys who actually had substance.  Just because a guy isn't a 10 doesn't mean he's not worth your time. So they went on a Master date. Well the first half of the date didn't go too well. Luke thought it would be a great idea to go on a bike ride around central park. Well Miss Porker wore a dress and judging by her physical stature it was quite obvious that she hasn't done anything athletic in years.  Bike ride, NOT CUTE. Dinner was worse. They went on a nice dinner cruise and Miss Porker had a lot to drink, again with the straw in the wine glass(WHO DOES THAT?), and she starts flirting and touching all over Luke. He openly admits he's an asshole and she replies " I love Assholes" NOT CUTE. She is a true train wreck. Then she tells him she'd buy him a Maserati and a Ducati and help him start a business. I really wanted to yell at her and be like, Sweetie he only wants your money. He doesn't like you sexually AT ALL!

I feel like you when looking for love you need to find someone who compliments you and someone who's going to make you a better person in the long term. Also physically speaking, know your audience. Be honest with yourself. If you know you are only a 7 find another 7 or maybe an 8. But I think if you only set your sights on a 10 you're going to end up alone and miss out on a lot of great guys.  In no way am I saying you can't get with a 10 But you shouldn't have tunnel vision and only look for one kind of guy. Personality can make a guy go from a 7 to an 8 real quick in your eyes.  It's important to find someone who has substance and who can give you what you really want.  Don't find yourself in a relationship with a guy who is never around knowing deep down inside that's what you really want, A guy who's around. Put his bank account, social status, and physical attractiveness aside. That stuff doesn't keep your bed warm at night when he's off god knows where. Ladies DON'T kid yourself. It's NOT CUTE. and you're just waisting time.

So Don't date guys who are bad for you and can't give you what you really want. Don't get sloppy drunk when you meet  a guy for the 1st time. Don't sip wine through a straw. Don't offer to buy a guy nice things just to keep him around because you know he's out of your league. Hello kitty doesn't make a cock hard. Tone down your make up, he eventually has to see you when it's off and it shouldn't be like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Be honest with yourself. If you can't be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with someone else?

Official Honest moment #2

So I definitely put up a front sometimes when it comes to how I feel about relationships and stuff. I pretend like it doesn't it bother me but I do have moments where I feel scared that I just might end up alone. I really don't want to be the 35 year old woman who's not married, not dating, and does nothing but work.  I used to think that I was pretty reasonable and I didn't ask for much, but I'm having second thoughts maybe I do have high standards and I don't seem to realize it. I just can't see lowering my standards. I'd like another person's opinion. Maybe I'm not being as unrealistic as I seem to think I'm being. 

So I'm pretty simple It doesn't take a whole lot to impress me. Little things mean a million times more than grand gestures however I still like to know that you are capable of doing big things.  Like a first date. I'd like a guy to put his best foot forward. Take me to a nice restaurant and show me a good time. Treat me like a princess. I want to know it's worth my while to continue dating you. Now most women might expect that from a guy all the time but that's not me. I just want to know you can. After you do that. Our next date can be to a ball park or a sports bar. 

When It comes to communication maybe I do ask for too much. I like a perfect balance. I hate too much communication and I hate too little communication.  If I text you at some point during the day and tell you that I'm going to call you when I get off work. You better damn well be expecting my call. If you're busy send me a text and say "hey, Im watching a movie, ill call You when its over" or something. For the first month I understand you're probably not going to know my work schedule, but half way through the 2nd month you should know. Don't make me feel like  I don't matter. It drives me crazy. There's no reason why you should only seem to contact me after midnight. That's a booty call. As your girlfriend, I deserve more. Oh and Eeww don't text me every waking moment either. I do have a life and It doesn't completely revolve around you. If you text me once and it's not an emergency please wait a considerate amount of time before you text me again, like maybe 30 plus mins. 5 texts in less than 5 minutes and we aren't having an actual conversation drives me crazy. 

It is also important for me that the guy im with knows how to be supportive. If Im telling you about my dreams no matter how ridiculous, I need you to tell me that I can make it happen. Don't cut me down and tell me it's impossible... I'm not your little sister. I also need to be able to have an intelligent conversation and a nonsense conversation about pop culture. I'm not saying he has to know the latest news about Beyonce, but If I mention something about it please pretend to be interested. 

[Alright this blog is getting long and its getting late]

The other things I look for in a guy:
* income and income growth potential
* No kids
* A vehicle
* A social life
* demonstrates social maturity
* demonstrates a level of coolness
* Likes football and basketball
* Likes doing things other than sitting on the couch
* reads
* Drinks alcohol(not excessively though)
* showers regularly
* Doesn't play video games for more than an hour a day.
* wears ankle socks
* doesn't own crocs
* Brushes teeth regularly
* clips toe nails and takes care of feet
* decent fingernail length. not too long and not too short( i cant stand nail bitters)


hhmm I think that's it. I know it's a laundry list..... I do ask for a lot. If I could find someone who's similar to me but taller and male and single... that would be perfect. I am unrealistic. I might need to rethink some things. I just feel like I've have to settle so much already in my life. I'm tired of settling for less than what I really want.

Things guys say

So as I was typing out my last blog I was watching Russian Dolls. I have never watched the show before but there wasn't much else on. I had already  watched Jersey Shore and Dance moms( 1st time I watched that show too). So yeah.this guy says to his woman something to the effect that she looked amazing in a dress she had tried on but continued to say that she was like a beautiful new car with a scratch on the bumper because she had an unsightly varacose vein that was really hard to miss just above her calf. The moment I heard this I'm thinking to myself, WOW, that was rude! Who raised this guy? I can't believe someone would say that. UGH! No woman wants to hear that from her guy. He definately was not getting lad after that comment. But then again they were russian. Russians are on another level.

I was also watching one of my favorite shows, Millionaire Matchmaker. I love watching Patti, she cracks me up. So one of the Millionaires during the mixer was a total douche bag. On his mini date with this Asian girl, who was actually really cute, he seemed to think it was ok to ask her when she lost her virginity. I was like RUDE. Who's asks that? Especially after only just meeting them.... I just don't understand. Guys say some dumb shit. They have like no sensativity filter what so ever. How could anyone think that was a good question to ask.  I can't recall  ever having a guy be that utterly rude to me. But I don't put up with Shit from guys. So help that guy who ever thinks its ok to be rude to me.

Guys with kids

So there's this guy I know, well actually I know a couple of guys with kids who like me. Anyways I'm afraid of guys who have kids. I love little ones and I think they are so adorable, but when you get involved with a guy who has a kid there's so much baggage. You get the guy, then you get his kid, and then you get the kid's mother. A relationship should just be two people in the beginning, but when it comes to a guy with a kid, it's 4 people.  Not something I really want to sign on to. I liked someone once who had a child and I thought it was mutual then the next thing I know he was telling me that he wanted to try to work things out with the mother of his son. Which I could completely understand. But no amount of understanding can prevent that feeling that you get when someone you like says that to you. It's a huge let down. You get all excited because you think that something great might occur and then you're knocked down. It's like walking all those damn stairs inside the statue of Liberty only to get the top and have to walk all the way down without getting to enjoy the view. It sucks. Trust me I know.

When you have a child with someone there's this bond you will forever share with that person and it's pretty incredible. I mean I don't know personally but I watch Tv and I could imagine what it must feel like. It's some pretty powerful stuff creating life. It just scares me. The bond is strong.  I'm a realist and I know realistically speaking no one wants their child to grow up in two homes and have two sets of parents. So I could imagine that deep down as a single parent there are moments you wonder if you should give it another shot with your child's other parent. Now I know you may be thinking, what if he has no honest desire to get back with the mother of his child. That happens too however if she's not in the same place in her life then you have to put up with 'Baby Mama' drama. She's jealous of you. She calls when she knows you're on a date and says there's an emergency just to come between you.  She makes  it a mission to sabotage your relationship.  That is something I'd rather not deal with. As a female I know first hand that we can be 'catty' and bitchy. I will be completely honest that I don't like fuss. Maybe I might fight back at first but there would come a time(real quick) that I would just surrender and walk away. I've never met a guy worth fighting for and even if I did Baby Mama's scare me. They are truly on a whole other level. 

My fear of guys with kids is a little debilitating. I absolutely avoid them like I do speeding tickets. But for some unknown reason I seem to keep getting them. If you know me than you know my driving record and it's not perfect. I doubt that Pizza hut would hire me as their delivery driver. Speeding tickets are attracted to me just like guys with kids. But I'm not a fan of either. One's financially expensive and the other is emotionally costly.  But part of me in my coming of ageness is wondering if maybe this fear is keeping me from experiencing something that could be potentially worth my while.

Could use some advice

 Oh Boy was I right about throwing up those red flags when it came to my Ex. Oh jeez. So we've been texting each other every now and again. The other day he wanted to know If I wanted to be FWB's. He mentioned that he didn't want a relationship because he'd be leaving soon and going off to college and didn't want to do a long distance relationship. I can't blame him. I'm not a huge fan of long distance relationships and it only works for some people, me not being one of them. So I thought to myself as semi sort of but not really tempting as that sounds I can't do it for 2 reasons. One being that I have made this pact with myself not to involve myself sexually with someone until I'm in a fully committed relationship and I'm not ready to abandon ship. Two being that  I don't want any feelings to resurface. I did like him at one point and I would hate for those feelings to come back and known that he doesn't feel the same way. That is one of the worst feelings in the world: liking someone who doesn't feel the same in return. So I declined being FWB. However then the conversation took a turn which I guess perhaps I should have figured just might occur.  He asked If I wanted to be in a relationship knowing that come Decemeber It'd end.... Well I must admit that I did take a second to consider it. I think my strong need for male connection took over. It's basically giving him a second chance. The first time I around It didn't last very long so who's to say it will last this time? So I've been having all these thoughts running through my head as I'm trying to figure out what to do. It's been 4 years. I know i've changed, but has he? My biggest fear is that If I agree  I'll just end up feeling the same way I did last time. I don't know if he's learned how to treat a lady. Also my mind keeps wondering if maybe the relationship offer isn't a loop hole for him to get in my pants.  I have so many thoughts. I always want to see the good in people and a huge part of me wants to believe he's changed and things will be different a second time around. But the the little voice in the back of my head is screaming don't do it. He most likely hasn't changed. 

I don't know what to do. I've barely spoken with him since that conversation. I could make a Pro and Con list till I'm blue in the face but that isn't going to help me any more than a Ouija board can.  So to my readers, I'd like to hear what you think. I could really use an outside point of view. my judgment is clouded by my desire to be in a relationship again. I just don't want to crash and burn again. Like I've done so many times in the past because I wasn't thinking clearly.

Guys and pets

I love dogs and cats and I like guys who have dogs or cats. What I don't like is when your pet takes over your space. When I come over to chill I dont want to be covered in your dog's hair after sitting on your sofa. It's called a vacuum, get one and use it. I had a cat and she shedded a lot but if I knew I was going to be entertaining guests I'd have enough decency to vacuum before they came over. I know pet owners tend to spoil their animals and let them do whatever they want but just like children you need to teach them manners and put them in their place. You are the boss not them and most animals are trainable, so train them. PLEASE and THANK YOU.  I think most pet owners allow their pet to sleep in the bed with them which is fine sometimes, but you better make sure you clean your sheets. If I'm with a guy and I notice his sheets are covered in dog hair and junk and I'm less likely to return. HUGE TURN OFF. 


It's not just pet hair that bothers me, manners bother me too. I would really rather prefer your dog not jump all over me especially when he or she has long nails. OUCH! Thank god when I had my cat she didn't like people who weren't me, so I never had to worry about her being around or in the way. She was usually just off in a corner hiding. But I've been to many of guys houses who's pets were all up in my face the whole time. Which makes it a little hard to just chill and have nice conversation and such. Another reason to train your animal if you plan on entertaining guests of the opposite sex. JUST SAYING.  Oh and the moment things move to the bedroom I don't appreciate your dog outside the door scratching and whining and barking. You might be used to it, but I'm not and it's a serious mood killer because that's almost all I can think about.  I absolutely Love animals and I don't like to hear them in distress. I also don't appreciate your dog in the room either because that gets a little awkward sometimes too.  I mean maybe after awhile I can adjust and become overly acquainted with your dog, but until then I'd just rather spend time with just you and not your dog. Cats aren't really an issue. I've never run into issues with guys with cats.

Mmmmmmmm just sexiness......