Oh Boy was I right about throwing up those red flags when it came to my Ex. Oh jeez. So we've been texting each other every now and again. The other day he wanted to know If I wanted to be FWB's. He mentioned that he didn't want a relationship because he'd be leaving soon and going off to college and didn't want to do a long distance relationship. I can't blame him. I'm not a huge fan of long distance relationships and it only works for some people, me not being one of them. So I thought to myself as semi sort of but not really tempting as that sounds I can't do it for 2 reasons. One being that I have made this pact with myself not to involve myself sexually with someone until I'm in a fully committed relationship and I'm not ready to abandon ship. Two being that I don't want any feelings to resurface. I did like him at one point and I would hate for those feelings to come back and known that he doesn't feel the same way. That is one of the worst feelings in the world: liking someone who doesn't feel the same in return. So I declined being FWB. However then the conversation took a turn which I guess perhaps I should have figured just might occur. He asked If I wanted to be in a relationship knowing that come Decemeber It'd end.... Well I must admit that I did take a second to consider it. I think my strong need for male connection took over. It's basically giving him a second chance. The first time I around It didn't last very long so who's to say it will last this time? So I've been having all these thoughts running through my head as I'm trying to figure out what to do. It's been 4 years. I know i've changed, but has he? My biggest fear is that If I agree I'll just end up feeling the same way I did last time. I don't know if he's learned how to treat a lady. Also my mind keeps wondering if maybe the relationship offer isn't a loop hole for him to get in my pants. I have so many thoughts. I always want to see the good in people and a huge part of me wants to believe he's changed and things will be different a second time around. But the the little voice in the back of my head is screaming don't do it. He most likely hasn't changed.
I don't know what to do. I've barely spoken with him since that conversation. I could make a Pro and Con list till I'm blue in the face but that isn't going to help me any more than a Ouija board can. So to my readers, I'd like to hear what you think. I could really use an outside point of view. my judgment is clouded by my desire to be in a relationship again. I just don't want to crash and burn again. Like I've done so many times in the past because I wasn't thinking clearly.
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