So I've been working hard on loosing weight and I've been going to the gym a few times a week. It's great. I feel better and I have more energy(sometimes) and I've lost a total of 19 lbs since June 1st. Working out is great. I'm trying to get healthy however all this working out is creating another problem in my life. I've been hornier than normal which makes it that much harder to turn it down when an offer comes my way.... The goal is to save myself until I'm in a committed relationship with someone. When i started I had no real desire so it was easy. But it keeps getting harder and harder. One of the reasons I chose to do this was because the sex I was having wasn't great and it left me feeling so empty. I was over the empty meaningless sex and I still am. But I feel like if I don't go get some soon I might bite someone's head off. I wish I could at least find a guy that was worth it but my phone is full of "2 pump chumps". I'm going crazy. I've been trying to put all this energy somewhere but it only works for a little. My ex has been trying to get at it and even though it wasn't good then I have this unwavering curiosity that maybe it might be different this time around. I don't know. HUGE DILEMMA. I'm running out of ways to say no to something I really want. Reminding myself that It won't be great is only going to take me so far. Some point soon I'm going to have to give in just so I can get it out of my system. Its like being on a diet and craving chocolate cake.... you won't be happy till you at least have a piece. FML seriously
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