So the other day( well actually several weeks really) I was thinking, What If I've already found my Mr. Right but we're just separated by thousands of miles (approx. 2,800 to be more specific)? I've been talking to this guy infrequently for the past 5 years at least. We've been chatting on aim for awhile and occasionally web-caming. He's sweet and he said some things to me a few weeks back that really got me thinking. Like it really sounded as if possibly he had feelings for me which i never considered my feelings towards him given how little we really talk and how far away he lives. But I actually do like him and if we weren't separated by so much space I'd actually give him a shot. We talk all the time time about trying to visit each other but i've never been in a position financially where i could just hop on a plane and spend the weekend in Washington state.
Some times I wish i could just be spontaneous and go visit him and see what happens. I mean i can be adventurous, but I'm not one who likes to fall down with nothing to catch me. I know my family will support me till we all die but I do have a job and It'd be silly for me to act like it's not important and just fly to the other side of the country for some guy. I have rules. No matter what sweet things some guy could tell me it would never get me to get up and leave the ground that i know is stable and go some place I've never been just for him. Life isn't like the movies... Art imitates life but i don't think life imitates art. I mean i may spend forever wondering "what If?" but I'd just have to come to turns. I mean I honestly would go visit, but i have other financial responsibilities like school, school books, car insurance, and paying down my credit card that are way more important than blowing $600 to go across country. Bills don't ever take a vacation.
What If he likes me and then i don't really feel the same at all. I mean I've been through my fair share of guys who like me but i don't like them or what if I like him but then once we meet he doesn't really like me. I mean that really sucks. I know the 'what if' game is dangerous, but I can't seem to help myself sometimes. I mean is it so bad to possibly plan for anything you could possibly imagine to happen? In my intended profession it will take me far. In life, however It might just keep me from taking too many chances.
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