So at the top of my list is meeting men at bars. If there's an alcoholic beverage in his hand and he's trying to take my number I can't take him seriously. Been there done that and it's never worked out well. So I've decided to just avoid it. If a guy approaches me with a drink in his hand or I can tell he's slightly intoxicated my mind has been trained to think he's looking for one thing and that's not what I'm willing to offer.
If he can't bring me around his so called roommates that's a 'red flag' and he's not worth my time. We're all adults and if I can't be around your roommates your ashamed or hiding something. I live with my parents and I'd bring a guy home in a heart beat even when I have a reputation of bringing guys home and then my parents never see him again. It's a running joke in my house. I can't blame my family though. I make jokes about it to. I told one guy once that It's OK if he came over because no one will expect to see him again. I think it came off wrong though. He didn't think it was funny. I was just being honest. I knew I'd never talk to him again after the night was over.
Guys with kids. It's cute but I run. I can't help it. I've been there done that and it didn't turn out in my favor obviously. People who have kids together can't help but to try to work it out or make each others lives a living hell. None of which I want any part in. It worse with guys with young kids, but given my age I'm not looking to date anyone who has a 14 year old cause he'd be over 30 and that's a little old for me and i'm not sure I would want to be hanging out with a 14 yr old. I'm only ten years apart and sometimes I still feel like a young person, so i'm not sure i'd be a good influence anyways.
I don't date bums. If he's not working it doesn't work for me. And not just cause I don't want to pay for everything. Actually my biggest fear with guys who don't work is that they're going to have way too much time on their hands and they're going to want to text me all day or hang out all the time. that's not who I am as a dater. I don't want to talk to you every waking moment and I don't want to spend all my free time with you either. I need my own time. I dated a guy who would text me all the time. It was SUPER ANNOYING. I always wanted to reply with " GET A LIFE" but I thought that was rude(kind of appropriate though).
I don't date shut ins. If I'm going to date a guy he needs to have a life and friends. I want to be able to take him out with me and my friends and in return do the same with his friends. Plus again I need to know while I'm off having a life he's doing the same so i don't feel guilty about not texting him all the time or spending all my free time with him either. I'm social and I like social people. If his idea of a good time is playing video games all day in his boxers and not having any person to person contact, that concerns me. It's important to me that who ever I date is not socially awkward and it's safe to bring him around people.
I don't date guys who lack ambition. I have goals. I think goals are important to have in life. Being around someone who doesn't have goals for too long scares me because I don't want to fall into a complacent state of mind. It also has the potential to end things, because if I'm trying to do things and go places and the one I care about doesn't want to there's no reason to stay together. I want the one i'm with to care and be supportive and go along on the ride with me. Success is more satisfying when you have someone special to share it with.
On a first date there's a 4 beer maximum. If you have to drink more than that to spend time with me then I'm obviously not worth your time. I want to remember the date when I wake up the next day unless of course it was a horrible date. Then I'll drink till I can't walk straight. It's a huge turn off to be a first date with someone who can't stop drinking. It makes me feel like I'm not interesting enough for him sober and I'm not into drunk dating.
If He stands me up, even just once and the excuse wasn't that his foot was being cut off in the ER from a bike accident I don't want none. I've been stood up numerous times and it's still a horrible feeling. It never gets easier. But I can't trust a guy after that. How hard is it to send a text? or hit up my facebook? Everyone these days is fully connected.
I don't really want to meet a guys buddies on a first date either. I'm trying to get to know him alone without the extra distractions. I'd like to get to know him a little before I have to get to know his friends too. It's a huge turn off.
I don't like double dating. If we haven't been together for at least a few months (like 3 or 4) going on a date with another couple is nauseating. I'm just saying. I'm not a fan because this is what happens, the other couple usually has been together forever so they know each other pretty well and they have so many stories and there's that awkward moment when they ask a bunch of questions or when they are being lovey dovey and I'm thinking to myself I've only known this guy for a few weeks, I don't know his favorite color or remember his birthday and last time I checked we still haven't had sex so there's a lack of affection and now i'm being forced to watch some couple I just met slobber all over each other. CHECK PLEASE!
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