Are we really that Immature?

Alright so as I was driving to the gym today I was thinking about all the times I've been snuck into a guys house in the wee hours of the night/morning and times where it seemed the only place to go was a the backseat of a car or the beach in the dark dark. It dawned on me that I'm 24 now and that is officially no longer cool. I'm not sure why I even thought it was ok to begin with, but lets not go there. So I took an in depth look at the situation and I've come up with only 3 reasons why a guy wouldn't want you over his place.

Excuse #1 He's embarrassed to be seen with you in front of his roommates. I say this because We're all adults and sex is a natural part of life, so why would your roommates care if you're having sex in your room that you pay rent for? and If they did have a problem, personally I'd say a big FUCK YOU to them. You pay rent so you can do what ever you want in your room short of stuff that's obviously against landlord policy. Your roommate has to get up early, fine just let me scream into a pillow no one has to hear me, problem solved.

Excuse#2 He's got a girlfriend (that he lives with or whatever). So in that case, one should be careful of any random reasons a guy could come up with for not having you over his place. RED FLAG. RED FLAG! It could be that his roommates  know he has a girlfriend too and he doesn't want to involve them in his cheating behavior and than it accidentally slips one day to the girlfriend that he's been having other girls over. It's possible he lives at home and his parents know who his GF is. I'm sure they wouldn't condone his behavior, unless of course they are as morally bankrupt as he is. 

Excuse #3 His roommates know you. Like say you're friends with his roommates, or a little sister, cousin, maybe ex of one of his roommates. That would definitely make things weird and I could understand why he wouldn't want to have you over.

outside of these 3 reasons there is no reason to ever have to resort to a backseat unless of course you really really like that sort of thing. I mean even if you live at home it can be done. You just have to know how you're family operates. Mine. No guy can spend that night. Works for me. I snore and I hate it so I have desire to have a guy stay over. My parents aren't big into casual sex, but If the guy is my boyfriend then its not casual.  I'm sure any parent knows that at a certain age you have feelings and you're grown. Personally I'd rather have my child having sex at home then out in some dirty motel or out in public where they can get arrested. How Embarrassing is that??  People talk.

I know America is full of prudes, but get with the program already. SEX SEX SEX SEX! it's natural and fun. If you don't make people resort to crazy stuff its a hell of a lot more satisfying too. I think if more people were having sex they'd be a lot less stressed out and wound up. If you go too long without you go crazy. WAKE UP WASHINGTON!!! maybe that's what's wrong with our politicians, they need more sex in their life. But they should definitely keep it off facebook, twitter, and their cell phones(Sen.Anthony Weiner).

Seriously?!?!?!

So Monday night I go hang out with this guy I know, let's call him "HomeDepot". We were supposed to hang out Sunday but it didn't work out. So we met up when he got off work Monday night.  OH BOY BIG MISTAKE. I got off work first so I went home and showered. I thought I'd be considerate to his nose. No one wants to hang around a smelly person, not that I'm smelly I just prefer to be fresh. UNFORTUNATELY... Not everyone shares my same consideration. When I arrived we hugged and my nose wanted to jump off my face. He was not fresh at all. So let me just say he has a job where he does manual labor and I'm sure at some point throughout the day he gets a little sweaty....SO WHY THE FUCK DID HE NOT THINK TO SHOWER FIRST??? seriously?!?! so we are hanging out and I don't want to be rude so I was really trying not to think about how bad he smelled. Here's where it gets even better... He goes in for a kiss and stuff and I'm like dying. Thank goodness he didn't kiss me for very long or I would have threw up in his mouth. I'm very particular about B.O. I shower before I go to the gym because I don't want to be that funky person that gets talked about. How embarrassing is that when some hott guy gets on the treadmill next to you and then leaves suddenly because you reak? EXACTLY!  If i know I'm going to be around people I shower before I go hang out with them even at the beach or pool....Sorry but salt water doesn't get rid of B.O. So yeah, not pretty I wish he would have taken a shower. It would have made hanging out a lot more pleasant. The next time he asks to hang out I'm gunna be like you should shower first if we're hanging out after you get off work.  We are not cave people there is no reason for people to be hanging out with B.O.

2.5 seconds away from reality

When I woke up this morning and rolled over I got a text from this guy I had been chatting with last night. He said, "Morning Hun". For all of 2.5 seconds I felt special. It's nice to know someone thinks about you enough to send you a good morning text, but then when I joined reality I remembered he's just another guy, not a potential thing and he's probably just trying to get into my pants.  I've been friends with him for a year or so and I think at one point we were interested in each other but because of our crazy schedules it was impossible. #fml

Really Cosmo????

So I bought the latest issue of Cosmo the other day because Kim Kardashian was on the cover, not that I even like her, but some of the topics seemed interesting. So there was an article called " 25 sensual ways to Pamper your body" and some of the suggestions were ridiculous and some of them were like WOW I'd do that

So here are the ones I liked:
#2 Put on a sleeping mask after slipping into a warm steamy bath
# 10 Position your bum in front of a pool's jet for a massage
#17 work a drop of peppermint oil through your tresses while in the shower 

hard to believe I only liked 3 out of 25. I tried #21 because I thought it was appealing. Until I tried it. not for me. So in case it might be for you. Check out Bookbyyou.com where you can insert yourself into the story. when i read the little preview they let you see for free, I was thinking, WTF.  It felt odd seeing my name in a story. But they have romance, western, vampires, stuff for teens, etc. #15 was dangle your foot above a sprinkler, and let the strings of water tickle your heel. I'm super ticklish and I'd just be cracking up the whole time. Plus how silly would I look standing in my yard with my foot in front of my sprinkler? I'm not sure how that is supposed to be sensual. #6 was strip down and check yourself out in the mirror.

They should add sitting on a vibrating couch to the list. I've done that before. It felt amazing and it helps put you in the mood if you have it on the right setting. It was a lot of fun.

There was another article " Guys rate 50 sex moves" I read it, but it was all pretty much stuff I knew. The article was very typical.  What guy wants you to bite down on his tongue or what guy wouldn't love for you to ask him to cum on your chest??? NO BRAINER! come on, Cosmo you can do better than that. Or maybe I should just know a little less than I do. ;-) Right

I feel like there's an invisible sign over my head

I've always thought this and I think It would be safe to confirm that there is an invisible sign over my head that only men can see that says "Side chick" either that or I give off some unknown hormone that attracts guys with girlfriends, fiance's, and wives. Not kidding. So I was talking to "Dolphin Boxer" on facebook. we've been friends/acquaintances for a long while and after telling me how I'd be the perfect Birthday present and he misses my boobs. I learn he's engaged and getting married in a year. I've known for a while since post-hooking up that he actually had a girlfriend and all I just didn't realize it was serious like that.  I shouldn't have been surprised. I mean I have a history of getting involved with guys with a main squeeze.  So what does this tell me about men? well they can't be trusted. HONESTLY!!! Sometimes it makes me rethink this whole thing. I know all guys aren't bad but I think the good ones are truthfully all gone at this point.

So the first guy I hooked up who had a gf I found out the hard way. She started sending me nasty nasty messages on Myspace and I swear she even stalked me at work. But I wasn't the only side piece he had either. Then there was this other guy, his baby mama actually called me and left nasty threatening messages on my cell phone. I never knew he was trying to work stuff out with her while he was hooking up with me. Then there is this one married guy that when we were first hanging out and stuff I was clueless that he had a gf, was engaged, and soon to be married.He surely never acted like there was another woman. Then there was this guy I worked with who was sleeping with me and another girl I knew in the office and was friendly with. I found out when she was pregnant with his baby. That was not the best situation. Then there was this guy that I worked with and his girlfriend also worked in the same place. Super awkward. The first time I met him he also never acted like he had a girlfriend.  There was another married man too. I thought they were separated but they were very much still married. I think I'm nearing the end.... Oh yeah and the guy I hooked up on a off for a while. I just recently learned he has a son. He's only a few months old and I cant recall during the past year texting back and forth and again I had no idea there was another woman and baby.


In no way am I proud of these hook-ups. But ladies let it be a lesson that "you think you know, but you have no idea". I don't want to make you paranoid but it could happen to anyone. I'm thinking there may even be people missing. I don't remember everyone off the top of my head.  Some guys can be just as clever as we can. Not all guys are bad at cheating.

House hunter

So I was trying to figure out what I should do with all this pent up sexual energy. I wrote an Erotic Short story(fictional).... I used to write them all the time and I stopped from lack of inspiration. I'm a little rusty and out of the groove, but I hope you ENJOY!
******The character is who ever you want her to be. She can be you( if you're a woman) or a woman you know.  

I sell houses and I’m pretty damn good at it. At 28 I’ve sold more houses than some of the senior sales reps have but I’ve been told that my aggressive style is a turn off in other areas of my life. Honestly, I just think that I’m not meeting the right guys. There is nothing wrong with a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it. In case anyone missed the memo it is 2011 and not 1940. It was November and things were rather slow for me I wasn’t selling as much as I would have liked to. One afternoon my phone did ring and a very pleasant sounding voice was on the other end. I was intrigued already without really paying to attention to what the voice was telling me. This guy had seen my advertisement on a park bench and thought I’d be perfect in helping him find a new place to live.

The next day he came to the office and we met to talk about what it was that he was looking for in a house so I could begin searching around for him. The first time I laid eyes on him I was surprised that he actually looked almost exactly how I had pictured him from his voice. It was breath taking I must admit. He was very handsome. When he walked over to me to shake my hands and introduce himself his 6’5 frame seemed to just tower over me like a sky scrapper. His hands were soft so I could tell he didn’t work with his hands for a living. His cologne smelled amazing and I came to conclude that he has expensive taste and deep pockets. Judging by his demeanor I could tell he was slightly arrogant and not ashamed of it.

After our first meeting I couldn’t get his beautiful blue eyes out of my mind. I could have just gotten lost in them they were so deep and rich with color. I’m also a sucker for a nice set of blue eyes. I thought his arrogance would bother me a little but he also actually kind of sweet at times and I wasn’t sure what to think about it. He was demanding though. His list of ‘must-haves’ read like a grocery list. Finding everything he wanted in one place I knew was going to be a big challenge. I tried to reason with him but he was also stubborn and not willing to compromise. 

A few weeks later I was able to find a couple houses that met most of his wants so I set up a walk-through. We met up at a beautiful estate in Coral Gables and I took him on a tour. He didn’t seem overly interested in what it had to offer so we ventured to the next place. I was getting annoyed at all his comments about what he hated, which was a lot by the way. The next stop things just got worse. We only spent about 5 minutes inside and he was ready to leave. He complained that I hadn’t listened to his demands and that if I couldn’t find better homes He’d no longer need my services.

I spent the next few days working really hard. The worst feeling in my job is getting canned by a client. His wants were just impossible so I thought I’d get creative the next go around and distract him. When we met the second time to look at houses I was dressed in a very short dress that hugged me in the right places and showed off my nice chest. During the walk through I could feel his eyes paying more attention to my ass than the house which was great for me. I knew at this point I could probably get him to buy anything before he realized what he was getting into. We ended up seeing one other place and after that he was ready to buy. I was super excited to get the deal over with. Not only was he a hard client to please but there was something about him I found irresistible and I really wanted to have sex with him.

It was now the middle of December and I was finalizing paperwork for him to sign. When I called him to tell him I needed his signature and then He’d get the keys he demanded we meet at the house instead of my office. It wasn’t my first choice but it was his and he is my client. By the time I was able to arrive at the property it was dark outside. I had other clients I needed to tend to first. He didn’t seem to mind the late meeting though.  We went inside to get out of the warm Florida weather. When I set the papers down on the kitchen counter for him to sign part of me was sad I’d never see his beautiful blue eyes again or smell his amazing cologne.

He picked up the pen and acted like he was going to sign the papers but he stopped and looked at me with this look that said he was having second thoughts. I squinted my eyes at him trying to figure out what was suddenly wrong. Terrified of what he might say I started spouting out all the good things about the house and reminding him that it was probably the closest thing he’d ever find to what he was looking for. I was blabbering so much I hardly noticed that he had moved closer and was now towering over me looking down with a smile. Confused by the expression on his face I became quiet. 

For what seemed like forever no words were exchanged and we just stood there staring at one another. The next thing I knew his lips were pushed up against mine and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing back. I had day dreamed about what kissing him might be like but it was far better than I could have ever imagined, his lips were so soft and sweet. My heart was racing and the thoughts in my head were going just as fast. I couldn’t believe what was happening and before I had a chance to fully grasp what it all meant he stopped. It was very abrupt like someone slamming on the breaks in a high speed moving vehicle. I had no idea what to think and my mind went blank. I couldn’t even form a sentence. My mouth opened but I’m not sure anything coherent came out and then it happened again. He kissed me once more this time grabbing my body and bringing it closer to his. Our bodies were pressed up hard against one another’s and I could feel his heart beating fast. 

There was no use trying to fight him off and deep down I wanted it just as bad as he did. I gave into desire and threw all caution out the window. I eagerly tugged at the buttons on his shirt to get them undone, ripped it off, and tossed it aside. Not wanting to waste time I quickly dealt with his belt and pants and tossed them aside as well. Once he was naked I took off my dress and bra. I had decided that day I wanted to go bare. He backed me up into the wall and picked me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist.

My body was highly responsive to his every touch and the moment his cock entered my vagina my body hiccuped.  He fit perfectly inside like a hand in a glove. For a few moments he stood still just kissing my mouth and neck before he began to move in and out of me slowly. He looked into my eyes with such intensity and kissed with such passion. No guy had ever done that with me before and it unleashed a side of me I normally kept hidden. His thrusts increased in speed and strength. I had to grip tightly onto his shoulders just to keep from bouncing all over the place.

Between breaths my screams filled the echoing silence of the empty house. Over and over he pounded his cock into me tirelessly fucking me in hopes of making me climax. I could tell it was requiring great effort for him to hold back and make me cum first. His considerateness aroused me even more and I called for a position change. I knew it was easier for me to cum if I were on top so I ordered him to get on the ground and I straddled him. Once again when his cock entered my vagina my body hiccuped. It felt amazing to be on top and feel in charge. I was finally in a position where I could make the demands and I loved every second of it.

I moved up and down slowly at first getting myself reacquainted with his cock. Once I was comfortable and ready I picked up the pace to where we were before we changed positions. In no time at all I could feel myself nearing towards an orgasm and I couldn’t stop. I went full speed ahead moving faster and faster until I felt it just ripple through me. My body twitched and jerked a couple of times and I went cross eyed for a second it was so intense. When I could regain myself and catch my breath I had to order him to be still. My nerves were super sensitive and I thought I might just explode if he kept moving inside me.  It took very little time before I was ready to go again so that he could finish too. We rolled around on the ground changing positions so he was now on top.

He entered me with such swiftness my body didn’t even have time to react as it had before. The kitchen smelled of sex and his cologne and I was dying to feel his hot cum shoot inside me. Like a predator devouring its prey he moved in and out with such a hunger. Every time I clenched my muscles around him I could tell it made him that much closer to the end. I dug my nails into his back and I swear he roared like a lion. It was very hot and it made me bite my lip. Moments later he made the most ridiculous face, his body tensed up, and then his hot cum filled what little space was left in the hot velvety cavern of my vagina.

It was hot and steamy and I secretly hoped maybe the feeling would last awhile but shortly after climaxing he stood up, signed the papers, and got dressed as if nothing had happened. The room climate quickly became cold and lonely. Not sure how to interpret his actions I got dressed without saying a word and walked out the door. I never heard from him again except for a delivery of Tulips I received with a note that stated I was worth every penny he paid me and more.

Official Honest moment #1

FUCK ME (literally)!!!!!! I need to get laid. I'm just saying. I have all this pent up energy and no place to put it. UGH!!! 


Don't judge me, I'm no angel and I'm only human