Making peace

So I'd like to think that I've grown up a lot over the past couple of years but before I could become mature I first had to be immature. So when I was 17 or 18 I was dating this guy "The Roofer" and he would come over my house and hang out and it was nice. But then I took the dive with him and everything changed. It wasn't good at all. I'm not exaggerating or confused because I was young. Like LEGIT, It was awful. I'm going to be honest, to me size matters and he didn't have much of anything to work with and hit didn't last long. But I feel bad for the way I handled things. I should not have put him out on blast like i did at that time. We've since talked and perhaps maybe he's gotten over it. So I am sorry Roofer. I was wrong for the way I treated you. 

I'm Sorry to all the women who's men I slept with(not that it's a lot, like 3 maybe 4). Please know that I never knew you existed till it was too late. Trust me I don't take pride in being with a man(or pig) who already has a woman. I mean I wouldn't like it if it happened to me. Although I have said I'm sorry I'd like to also say it's not all my fault. If a guy comes at me how am i supposed to know or even think to ask if he has a girlfriend. 

Sorry to any guy who called me the next day and I ignored. I know it's rude but I was cowardly and figured it would just be easier to ignore you than to have to tell you to your face that I wasn't really interested. 

I'm sorry to myself for not having better impulse control and finding myself in bed with men that were less than worthy to have me.  I'm sorry to myself for wasting so much time and energy chasing the wrong guys. I'm sorry to myself for ignoring that I had a serious problem borderline addiction for so long.  I'm sorry to myself for covering up my insecurities with sex.

I'm sorry to my friends I burned along the way. I know I made choices that changed things between us maybe forever.

I've done some things that I'm not particularly proud of but it's a natural part of life. We all make mistakes and bad choices somewhere along the line.I hope that no one thinks less of me now. I'm not all bad. I just felt I should clean out some skeletons that have been buried in the closet. There's more to come when I can bring myself to let go and be even more honest.