So If Life were a movie ...

If my life were a movie I'd spend the next 2 to 4 years falling in and out of love with all the wrong guys only to discover last minute when I'm about to give up on love become a nun and move to Wyoming that my good friend, Too Smart For his Own Good or TSFHOG for short, would turn out to be the one who I should have been with the whole time.  I've discovered that he has feelings for me and seems like he just might maybe possibly be in love with me.But at this very point in time I don't feel the same way. So when I learned this I felt a little awkward. I mean how horrible is that to express your love to someone only to find out they don't feel the same?? IT SUCKS, in case you were wondering. He's sweet, and it's great that i can lean on him when I need to, and I could go on about stuff that I like about him, but Physically there's no attraction. When I picture myself being with someone he's not the type of guy I see myself with. He doesn't have a certain swagger that I'm attracted to. I like a little bit of a bad boy with tattoos and attitude but also loves his mother and has a sensitive side.TSFHOG I would describe as being on the nerdy side. Still wears socks that go above the ankle and I'm not sure he owns a single name brand item(if he did I'm not sure he could rock it). To me every time i see him it's like running into someone I'd see at walmart(we all know what those people look like). I want someone that looks like I just saw them in the window display at Dillards(Dark jeans, nice kicks, a button down dark shirt with some really cool graphic on it(NO ED HARDY!!!(RHINESTONED DRAGGONS ARE NOT SEXY)) Nice hair) He needs to look like he cares about how he looks. 

So yeah If my life were a movie I'd end up with him, The guy that's always been the friend and patiently waited on the sidelines while I dated every wrong guy in the world for me. How's that for a happy ending? but as i said before I don't believe that Life imitates art. That's the stuff for movies. And for some guys to feel like maybe they have a real shot at getting the girl all the bad guys want( yes i quoted a song). Does it happen? Yes, But i've never been known to be one of those exceptions. I'm ok with knowing that No Brad Pit or Ryan Reynolds is going to come knocking at my door, but at the same token I can't just date any Joe Blow that says they like me. If I'm not attracted, I'm not attracted. It wouldn't be fair to someone to try it and it goes nowhere. Huge waste of my time and theirs.

So I wish things were going better

So I've been blogging since the end of February and I've been trying to put myself out there a little more so that I can meet guys and maybe start something so I can finally get something juicy to talk about instead of my ramblings about whatever crosses my mind first thing in the morning, or in the shower, or when I'm driving down the road in my own little world. So approximately almost 4 1/2 months have gone by and not much has happened in my dating life. LAME! I know. So In the past month I didn't blog. I definitely thought about it, but with school and hanging out I was distracted then I was like bummed because I didn't have a whole lot to say.So any ways I've been trying to figure out why someone like me is single? I'm still not sure (If I didn't have standards, i could be dating though). I honestly Feel like I'm a pretty AWESOME GIRL! But maybe it's not my personality that is the issue. Appearances are everything and although my face is pretty, I'm thinking that my weight is an issue. Thick Is In, however I would consider myself too thick. So since the beginning of June I've been trying hard to make a whole lifestyle change and eat better and go to the gym. I think that if I lost a good 45 lbs I'd be a likely prospect for a lot more guys. Not everyone wants a 24oz steak. I'm not mad about it at all people have their preferences.I do want to say I'm not just loosing weight to get guys to like me a lot of it is health reasons too. My weight is not healthy. I'm on medication for high blood pressure AAHH!!! SCARY!!!! I'm only 24 I shouldn't have high blood pressure already, although I'm in a perpetual state of stress and worry about everything(that doesn't help either). And I'm also on medication for Diabetes, although that's not why i was put on it but I am pre-diabetic. So for health reasons It's time to shed the fat and to have male attention would just be an added bonus.

I'm really confused

So I've written a couple posts about how I seem to keep encountering my past. And again I encounter it. Luckily for me i don't delete numbers so I always know who's texting me unless they've changed their number. I woke up to a text from the Welder( I'm pretty sure i mentioned him way back in the beginning) Well I thought he had lost interest. We started texting. It was nice to learn he was still interested. I certainly didn't loose interest but i thought he did and when it comes to guys I'm not one to beat a dead horse. The moment I sense perhaps things aren't going anywhere then I'm done. I don't like texting people and never hearing a word back. I can take a hint. So anyways we're texting having good conversation for about a week then as of June 30th at 10:13 pm EST he fell off the grid. I never want to be a bother. So i waited till July 1st to test the waters. No response. Tried again 9 hrs later on No response. Tried July 4th and one last time July 7th. I'm not an over text-er.I made a couple attempts I heard nothing but I'm over it. I mean plenty of time has passed. I should have heard something. I'm a little mad at myself for even falling into this trap. He did this to me last time. We were talking regularly and then it was like he fell off the grid I texted a few times and I never heard back.  I'm a textaholic. So it's really hard for to be not available when you text me(unless I'm at work, the gym, or in the shower). Sometimes i wonder if my text readiness is too much for guys to handle.  I feel Like if I'm sitting on my couch doing nothing and you text  me, how do i not respond right away?? I'm not busy. I hate relationship games!